Choosing Health Over Achievement: My Journey to Withdraw from the Chicago Marathon, 2025

It's only fitting that I write this post the week of the Chicago marathon. On Sunday, October 12th over 50,000 runners will take to the streets of the windy city. I was hoping to be one of them. I took a long break from writing to let my mind and body heal after the toughest physical and mental battle that I have ever faced. Living with Crohn's disease is a rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs that can be overwhelming. Reaching remission is the ultimate goal, but once there, I know not to get too comfortable because things can turn on a dime. I have had this disease for almost 20 years, so I accepted and made peace with this lifelong condition awhile ago. Over time, I learned to sit in the driver seat, instead of just riding along. I believe education, awareness and advocacy have taught and prepared me to live life to the fullest, despite the challenges I continue to face with Crohn's disease.

That became harder and harder to do in the last several months, as I faced one challenge after another. Not only was I dealing with my own health issues, but more than one family health crisis. Embracing my passion for running became more important than ever to not only help manage my physical, but emotional health as well.

Running has been a cornerstone of my life for many years. It's not just a way to get in shape; it has been my lifeline in managing Crohn's. For me, the benefits of running go beyond physical fitness. They extend deeply into the mental and emotional realms. Plus, you can run anywhere, anytime. You don't need expensive equipment, nor do you need to drive to a gym. I was never a fan of gyms anyways. A bunch of sweaty people breathing in and out of the same stale air....not to mention germs flying everywhere. Not exactly the best place for someone with an autoimmune disease to hang out. You will see me running outside, rain or shine, blizzard, below freezing temps - no matter the weather conditions (except maybe a tornado), bring it! Just get yourself a pair of Hokas (No, they didn't pay me to say that. I've tested A LOT of running shoes, and these take the cake), running gear, and get that playlist ready! Ok, so you might need to spend a little moola on air pods, and cool running schwag.

I’ve successfully completed four full marathons (Chicago, DC, Milwaukee and Madison) and many half marathons. Looking back over the years, I was usually going through something difficult or entering a new phase in life when I would decide, "it's time to run a marathon." Why? Because all things are difficult before they become easy.

Running a marathon is the ultimate challenge for me. Call me a gluten for punishment, but I love pushing my body beyond its limits. The mental clarity that running provides me goes unparallelled.

I have proved to myself that despite having severe Crohn's (started out as mild, moved to moderate

and now severe), I can do HARD things. I am an

optimist, a glass half full kind of gal, so I don't have a lot of patience for excuses. Yes, I would give anything to not have Crohn's disease, but I do, so why not make the most of it, right? Every day is a gift my friends. Each and every day.

Among all the races, the Chicago Marathon holds a special place in my heart. The flat terrain allows for faster times, but the real draw is the rich tapestry of neighborhoods we pass through—the same city that I fell in love with when I lived there in my 20's. At age 46, I decided to take on the Chicago Marathon again. This time, I would secure a spot with Team Challenge, and raise money for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation.

Balancing training with parenthood is no small feat, especially with three kids to care for. Still, I believe challenges are worth embracing. Our kids know that running helps with treating my Crohn's, and it's a valuable lesson for them to remain physically active as a part of taking care of theirselves too. I am usually lucky enough to have one or more kiddos waiting for me at the end of

the driveway when I return home from a run. It's the absolute BEST feeling seeing their cute faces. It's just another reminder as to why I need to do everything in my power to be healthy. It's also very important for me to have them see their Mommy being "strong."

However, life presented a new hurdle. While getting Crohn’s treatment with Humira, I developed drug-induced lupus. I devoted an entire blog post to DSLE (you can read it HERE), and was hoping to put it to rest, but truth be told, I didn't know much about lupus, and had no idea what I was in for. I was wishful, and nieve in thinking I would recover quickly once I stopped the medication. I had no idea the havoc lupus would wreak on my entire body. I usually allow myself four months to prepare for a marathon, but I started to worry as my once manageable five-mile runs left me exhausted.

Days turned into weeks, and soon, a full month of struggling to run passed. This had never happened to me before. I have ALWAYS been able to run, even when sick. I watched my once toned and muscular body, morph into a rack of bones, and sagging skin. I was weak, my confidence was plummeting, and I didn't recognize the gaunt, shell of a person, staring back at me in the mirror.

My GI doctor switched me to Entyvio infusions, but the road to recovery takes time. I didn't have time. Along with the physical dissappointment, my mental health took a hit. Those of you with IBD know what I am talking about. Especially if you've been on multiple medications. I started to feel like a guinea pig. All of these strong biologics can cause several serious side effects and conditions, including lupus and cancer. Ahhh, no thank you, right? My hope started to dwindle, and I was seriously contemplating stopping my infusions. I kept waiting for something to change, but nothing did, and a large decision was looming over my head.

Judgement day was here, and I reluctantly knew what I had to do. Deciding to pull out of the Chicago Marathon was heart-wrenching, and quite honestly one of the hardest things I've had to do. Especially because I am NOT a quitter. I felt a profound sense of loss and sadness. Remember, it's ok to NOT be ok. The important thing is that you talk to someone to get the help you need. Statistics show that more than 50% of individuals with chronic illness struggle with mental health issues. I certainly felt it in my own life—my physical decline mirrored my emotional state.

Despite the heartache of not running in the Chicago Marathon, I began to feel a shift within me. Little by little, hope started to resurface. This setback was disheartening, but it didn't define who I am. Instead of focusing on not being able to join the runners in Chi - town, I set my sights on something a bit smaller. For the first time, just stepping outside in the fresh air, with the sun shining on my face, became a reasonable goal.

And then something miraculous happened. I began to run, and saw little signs of hope on the way. Someone had placed stones with inspirational messages painted on them, along the path. I wish I knew who did this because the impact these "stones of hope" had on me that day was profound. I would love to give them a hug.

I understood that feeling down is part of the journey. The crucial part is finding the strength to rise again.

Living with Crohn's disease has gifted me invaluable lessons in resilience and perseverance. Running is my release, my therapy, and my way to reclaim my life. Each step is a reminder that Crohn's does not define me.

I urge anyone facing similar limitations to find their “thing”—be it running, walking, or any other form of exercise. The benefits are plentiful. For example, regular physical activity can reduce inflammation, improve mood, and even boost immune function.

My experience with Crohn's disease has not just been about grappling with challenges; it has also been a path of self-discovery and empowerment. I have learned to embrace my condition, allowing it to shape me in ways I never expected. Running remains a vital part of my management strategy, providing both physical strength and emotional resilience.

As I look toward the future, I carry hope and determination with me. Setbacks are an inevitable part of life, but they do not define who we are. I will continue to run, challenge myself, and cherish every moment. There is definitely another Chicago marathon on the horizon, but for now, I am going to be comfortable knowing that I did what was best for my health. Good luck to all of the participants running the Chicago marathon this weekend! Whether it's your first marathon, or you're a seasoned runner, expect an experience of a lifetime.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

-Bob Marley